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          就“中國(guó)首次載入航天飛行圓滿成功”這一主題寫(xiě)一篇小短文．
          

          要求：1．行文流暢，敘述清楚，層次分明．
          

          2．內(nèi)容豐富，材料真實(shí)，感情真摯；
          

          3．詞數(shù)200個(gè)左右．
          

          

          			
          


			
          

		
          
		
		
	
          
		
          
			
          
				
          
				答案：
          解析：
          		

          例文：
          

          The great dream has come true!
          

          　　The exciting and splendid moment has come!After a landmark 21-hour and 23-minute space flight that took him around the globe 14 times, China's first astronaut Yang Liwei returned to the earth safely．When I watched the exciting news on TV, my eyes was① filled with exciting tears．China has realized a many-centuries-old② dream cherished by all the Chinese．
          

          　　As the inventor of the ancient rocket, we fell behind in the space exploration in the modern history．More than forty years ago, USSR(Russia)succeed③ in sending up the first manned spaceship．In 1969, the American astronauts visited the moon．
          

          　　Not until 1970 did China send up the first satellite．
          

          　　Since the reform and opening-up in the 1980's, however, our country has made great achievements in science and technology．
          

          　　Within five years, we succeeded in sending up for unmanned spaceships, laying a solid foundation for the manned space flight．Now, the Shenzhou V．marks a great leap forward in China's space flight．
          

          　　I believe in the near future, China will have the permanent space station of its own like one④ of Russia and China's astronauts will walk in space and on the moon!
          

          　　China, we feel proud of you．China, I love you!
          

          修改：
          

          　　①was→were
          

          　�、赾enturies→century復(fù)合形容詞中，名詞用單數(shù)形式．
          

          　　③succeed→succeeded時(shí)態(tài)錯(cuò)誤．
          

          　�、躱ne→that這里是特指．
          

          點(diǎn)評(píng)：
          

          　　作者以真摯的感情，飽滿的熱情，講述了中國(guó)艱難的航天歷程，謳歌了中國(guó)在航天領(lǐng)域里所取得的巨大成就．文章敘述清楚，條理清晰，層次分明，過(guò)渡自然．值得一提的是，作者使用了一定數(shù)量的復(fù)雜句子結(jié)構(gòu)，這一點(diǎn)非�？扇。绻髡甙炎陨淼母惺芏嗾勔稽c(diǎn)，文章可能會(huì)更好．
          


          				
          
							
          
			
          
			
          
			
			
          
		
          
	
          

		
          

		





			
          
		
          
		
				
          
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