Question

請根據(jù)下面的英語提示寫一篇60字左右的短文。

A man’s daughter is seriously ill and he has to rush her to the hospital. But on the way he injures an old lady seriously because of over speeding.

要求：1.請就該材料發(fā)表你的感想；

          2.應結合材料，有明確的觀點；

                3.請在答題卡上作答。

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

I must at first say this father is a responsible father but as a citizen of a society he is not a responsible driver: he only focuses on his own emergency based on the sacrifice of the others’ rights and benefits.

As a member of a society, one has many parts to play. But in my opinion, one should at first be the part that will not harm others on any condition or circumstance. So I think this man should be punished.

【解析】

試題分析：本文是一篇開放性作文。就這個話題，考生應該比較熟悉，寫起來有話可說。但是要想用60左右的字把自己的感想和觀點清晰地表達出來似乎還有較大的難度。所以寫作時注意以下三點：一是開門見山直擊話題；二是對這位父親的行為不要全盤否定，要一分為二地看待；三是在談自己的明確觀點前，要有鋪墊性的話語，也就是你給出觀點的某些理由。如果就事論事地談觀點，那就顯得很唐突，上下文不夠連貫

【亮點說明】范文用兩段82個字就把感想和觀點說得清清楚楚，簡潔明了，值得我們仿效。第一段在一分為二地評論這位父親的行為以后還指出了這種錯誤行為的原因，為后面表達自己的觀點作了第一次鋪墊；第二段在講自己的觀點前，又接著第一段的敘述為講自己的觀點作了進一步的鋪墊，使得觀點的發(fā)表水到渠成。彰顯了范文作者很強的邏輯思維能力。范文句式豐富多彩：短短82個字共5句話，其中主從復合句就用了3句。其余還用了簡單句和并列句。像“I must at first say this father is a responsible father but as a citizen of a society he is not a responsible driver”這一句就含有賓語從句和并列句。這充分顯示作者駕馭句子的能力。范文詞匯的使用也很精彩：focuses on, based on, in my on any condition or circumstance.這些詞匯的使用更是為文章增色不少。最后一句“So I think this man should be punished”更是畫龍點睛之筆，作者的觀點斬釘截鐵，讓讀者一目了然。

考點：開放式(文字提綱式)作文